Emil's Knowledge Nuggets
Quick tips for parents to turn breakdowns into breakthroughs.
Connection as Intervention
10 Suggestions
We talk about connecting before correcting, but we miss out on the enjoyable part of the relationship when too much emphasis is on correction. This KN is about connection as an intervention.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
"The 5 Don'ts of Parenting Teens"
Those moments when you make a suggestion or give some advice to you teen and you would have thought that you insulted them. Why do they not appreciate the "helpful" suggestions we make? Why am I always caught in a power struggle? This Knowledge Nugget goes through the five common don'ts that loving parents do, and suggestions for what to do instead.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
8-3-21
Grieving the life you wanted for your teen.
We spend so much time, money, sweat and tears to help provide a life for our teens. Then they decide that they want something different, a path that may end up causing more pain in their life. What do we do? What can we do? We can find peace.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
7-27-21
"Cool Under Fire."
How do you stay cool when the words and phrases are flying around like bullets in the war zone. I borrow a few concepts and strategies from Navy Seal Commanders and the three laws of combat.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
7-20-21
"The Power of Discomfort"
Discomfort is the real power that motivates. Instead of following what we would consider the loving impulse to rescue and remove discomfort, we plan and prepare for it so that we and our teens can actually grow.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
7-13-21
Teen Entitlements
Entitlements are the rights of deserving something just because you exist. When someone has entitlements that aren't being met, they can get angry and agitated. How do we deal with entitlements? This video shows you how.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
6-15-21
Conflict Simplified
Trying to remember all the different communication tactics even when there are just a few is impossible when your emotions get in the way. This helps you simplify the conflict so you can stay engaged and take control.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
6-1-21
"Home Visit"
In this video we go through the steps to take to maximize a successful home visit, what the goals are, and how to deal with home visits that fall short of the hopes we had.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
5-25-21
Motivation
How do you get your teen to get more motivation to do the things that they need to do? This video walks you through what you can do, and even some things that you can't.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
5-18-21
"What is Therapy?"
What is therapy? This video goes through what therapy is when we are doing therapy. Often times we spend a lot of time doing psycho-education, which is very helpful in creating context and perspective, but at the expense of doing therapy where lasting change can occur.
Please share these tips with your friends on FB groups and RTC groups.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget 5-11-21
"It's not about the phone?"
They seem to be spending all their time on the phone instead of doing what they are supposed to be doing. So, what is it really about then?
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
5-4-21
"Chemical Power of Understanding"
What if you could literally change someone else's chemistry so that they were more open and understanding and willing to take accountability and maybe even be kind?
There is!
Please share these tips with your friends on FB groups and RTC groups.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
4-28-21
"Patience Part II"
Patience is the capacity to endure delay, discomfort disappointment without getting angry or upset. The capacity is therefor something acquired rather than an attribute of will power. This video talks about how to increase the capacity through the process of preparation for what you can predict.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
4-20-21
Patience Part I
"Crystal Ball"
Maximize your patience with the technique of using perspective.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
4-13-21
"Consequences"
One of the hardest things for parents to do is to identify appropriate consequences. This video walks you through how to create consequences.
Please share these tips with your friends on FB groups and RTC groups.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
4-6-21
"Assuming Good Intent"
What if there was a way to avoid getting your feelings hurt and increase the likelihood of getting your feelings heard. The skill of AGI is key. This video explains why we usually assume ill intent and how to turn that around.
Feel free to share these tips with your friends and favorite FB groups.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
3-30-21
"Create an Eager Want"
We've talked about how to maximize our influence by making sure we create a connection before we try to create a correction. This KN goes into another way to maximize our influence by identifying what the other person wants or doesn't want for that matter and using what we can control to lovingly leverage. Check it out.
Please share these tips with your friends on FB groups and RTC groups.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
3-16-21
"Shock Value Sabotage"
How do we respond when it seems that the only intention is to get a reaction?
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
3-9-21
Define and Accept Reality to Create Change.
We can create change by preparing for what we can predict and using the natural laws of psychodynamics and relational dynamics to maximize change.
Please share these tips with your friends on FB groups and RTC groups.
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
2-23-21
Complaining
You need to bring something up but you don't want to turn it into a fight. So, how do you do it?
https://vimeo.com/517943863
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
2-16-21
Same Page Slip-ups.
So, you finally got on the same page right. Then one of you gets sucked into the vortex of conflict and your back into the old patterns. You literally slip off of being on the same page. It is going to happen. So, if you can predict, you shall prepare. In this little nugget we refer to the other tools we have to develop a way to get back on the same page once there is a slip up.
Please share these tips with your friends on FB groups and RTC groups.
https://vimeo.com/516402443
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
2-2-21
"Responding to Passive Aggressive Statements"
Using "The Translator"
You know those little digs and jabs that people make, and you sometimes don't know if it's worth responding to? Well, here is a way to respond, keep your cool, and get the passive aggressive person to check themselves.
Please share with your friends
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
1-26-21
"Responding to Questions"
Part 4 of the Conflict Series
What do you do when you get asked a question when you are in conflict. Some questions help clarify and others are just another set up for another attack. Learning how to distinguish between different types of questions and how to respond to them in a way that helps you maintain your composure and influence is discussed in this final part of the conflict series.
https://vimeo.com/506862600
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
1-19-21
"Responding to Feelings"
Part 3 of the Conflict Series
When your teen decided to share his feelings and "advocate for himself" and as he does he does it with a lot of negative energy and frustration. How do you stay engaged without losing it. Watch this video.
Please share with your friends
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
1-12-21
"The Blame Game"
Part 2 of the Conflict Series
How to respond to accusations, blame, and criticisms.
share this link
https://vimeo.com/501279719
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
1-5-21
"Conflict Demystified"
Part 1 of the Conflict Series
When you are in conflict, it seems like total chaos. Given that conflict has been around since the beginning of time, you would think that we would have eradicated it from the planet, like some disease. But... in spite of over 6000 years of recorded history it seems like we are still in the stone age. My quest was to develop a strategy to deal with conflict with real tools and techniques that anyone can use in any situations of conflict.
share video with this link:
https://vimeo.com/499638424
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
12-29-20
"Letting Go To Stay Connected"
One of the repeated themes in parent training is the importance of "letting go." How are we not "letting go"? Why are we holding on so tight? How do we let go?
These answers with practical tips and tactics to learn to let go and keep close. Please share with your friends Copy and share link below:
https://vimeo.com/495661335
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
12-22-20
"Formula for Independence."
Trying to convince your teen that independence is earned, is practically impossible. This short video will talk about the relationship between two R's and the two F's (Freedom and Fun) - the two factors that teens equate with independence. Helping teens understand what governs freedom and fun can provide structure and strategy for parenting and setting up expectations and consequences.
Share with this link: https://vimeo.com/493170101
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
12-8-20
"Keeping your grip on the tools."
Accessing the tools when you need them most.
We understand the tools. They make sense. And when we use them they work. But when I’m in a situation where I really need them, they aren’t there. How am I supposed to use the tools if I can’t remember them when I need them?
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
"Stonewalling"
When your teen won't talk, what do you do? This little gem walks you through some strategies to get some of the most stubborn stonewallers to open up and talk. No more silent treatment.
Feel Free to share with your friends on Facebook and other social media groups.
https://vimeo.com/495244631
(Recorded in San Diego)
Emil's Knowledge Nugget
"Tool Box"
What if there was a formula to handle each situation that came up. Much like there is a tool for every project there are relational tools for each situation. This video gives you an introduction to the "Tool box." The actual tools in the membership area have to deal with. How to bring up issues? How to Respond to issues, How to Resolve Issues? How to set boundaries and limits? etc.
Please share these tips with your friends on FB groups and RTC groups.
https://vimeo.com/495244438
